In my journey towards personal development I discovered a major factor which is the SELF FACTOR. Personal development is a journey on its own. It is an ongoing process of self improvement in every aspect of your life which includes your career, your relationship with yourself ,others and your personal life. This is why it is called personal development because you are on a personal journey to self discovery, development and improving yourself.  

The purpose of this article is to consider personal development as a key to healthy relationships.

Relationships are actually beautiful when they are healthy and balanced. it is even more beautiful when both parties are working towards developing themselves as individuals. most times , when people go into romantic relationship, at first they tend to get lost in themselves, lost in love, its craziness and beauty and everything that it entails;until they have their first fight then they begin to spot the difference and feel they are not good for each other. 

What then happens when we as individuals take out time to develop ourselves and improve and try to understand ourselves better even before venturing into a serious relationship. 

We tend to turn out better, become more loving and understanding since we already know what we want from such relationship so it wont be as if we are out their using someones life or emotions as an experiment.

How then can we improve or develop our selves individually in other to ensure a healthy relationship

1. Love yourself : We all know the golden rule that says love your neighbor as you love yourself. however, often times, we go out of our way to love our neighbors even much more than we do to ourselves and we even give out more than we have and end up running empty having no reserves for ourselves. That is not the way love should be. Nemo dat quod non habet – you cant give what you don’t have. its like advising someone to take good care of themselves and going out of your way to spend money on that person buy the person new clothes, new shoes, just to show them love when you find it difficult to do that for yourself. the outcome of such kind of relationship would be one filled with so much expectations.

This is because you would be expecting the other party to do same for you and he or she may not even care or notice your need. Part of personal development includes self love and with self love comes great acceptance for oneself which we will be discussing next.


2. Acceptance : Humans generally crave for acceptance. Nobody wants to be rejected. everyone has this fear of  being rejected so to some, its best they keep hiding in their shell or for those who are out of their shell to cling to one person they feel accepts them. So they end up looking up to their partners for acceptance, to tell them how good, perfect and beautiful they are. However, when the words are no more forthcoming, they feel less and suffer from low self -esteem.

This is also one major reason why lots of people remain in abusive relationship because they feel accepted and if they leave the relationship, no one will accept them (so they think). The reason why it is good to undertake the journey towards personal development is that it will help you accept yourself for who you are and get you attuned to your inner self.

I will stop by asking this question:  ‘If you don’t accept yourself and cant live with yourself, how then do you expect others to live with you ? 

Never forget, “you only reflect what you believe you are and most times you get treated the way you treat yourself.”

To be continued….

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